5 October 2017: Mom and I fight about everything these days.

Mom and I fight about everything these days.
In
each     of     my     five     therapy     
years,     
every     
inpatient, 
outpatient, 
intensive outpatient, 
partial hospitalization, 
residential, 
emergency room practitioner, 
doctor, 
clinical specialist, 
therapist, 
recovery coach     and team member
issued the same warning:     “SEPARATE. SHE’S TOXIC.”

But I am too afraid.
I cannot embarrass her.
I can’t.
I can’t say anything to anyone. 
I’ll lose what little connection does exist – toxic or not.

“I’m stuck,” I say.

I     still     hear     my     therapists     cry     from     seeing
my     lips     form     those     words     
again     
and     again.